How to Do Perineal Massage: On Your Own or with a Partner
To do perineal massage: empty your bladder, wash your hands, and after a warm bath, and sitting safely on a towel, apply a little oil to your thumbs. Insert your thumbs about 3–5 cm (an inch) into the vagina, press downward toward the anus and to the sides, hold for a minute or two, then massage in a rhythmic U-shaped motion. Do it for about 5-10 minutes, 2–3 times a week, from the last weeks of pregnancy. A partner can do it for you using their index fingers, or a wand such as Perimom can help you reach.
In the last weeks of pregnancy you may have heard about perineal massage. You can do it yourself or have a partner do it. Either way, it's performed by using the thumbs and fingers to massage and stretch the perineum. The main challenge is simply reaching the area.
How women feel about perineal massage
Pregnant women have mixed views about perineum massage. Some find it physically or emotionally uncomfortable, feel the technique is difficult, or find it time-consuming. Others are uneasy about touching themselves or involving a partner.
On the positive side, most women find the unfamiliar burning sensation eases by about the third week of practice. For some, where intimacy decreases in the third trimester, the massage can be a way to increase closeness with a partner while working toward stretching the perineum.
How to do perineal massage on your own
Preparation
- Empty your bladder.
- Wash your hands thoroughly with warm water.
- Take a warm bath or shower to soften the perineum — many women do the massage afterwards, or in the shower.
- Cut your fingernails short.
- Choose a relaxing, private, quiet place — your bedroom or bathroom.
- If lying down, prop your legs up with pillows, knees bent; support your back with pillows. Or sit back with knees bent and legs apart.
- Keep a small mirror on hand so you can find your perineum.
The technique (traditional method)
Take your perineal massage oil , such as sweet almond or olive oil, and lubricate your thumbs and perineum.
- Place your thumbs 3–5 cm (about an inch) inside the vagina, fingers resting on your buttocks.
- Press down toward your anus and to the sides of the vaginal wall. Hold the stretch for a minute or two.
- Gently massage in a rhythmic U-shaped motion, from the sides of the vagina down to the perineum and back up, applying gentle pressure.
- A minute may be enough to start; with practice, build up to about 5 minutes. Aim for at least two or three times a week.
The technique (with the Perimom tool)
- Hold the top end of the Perimom firmly in your right hand.
- Apply oil to the smooth concave bottom tip.
- Insert the tool and stroke the perineal area with the smooth rounded bottom.
- Continue for 5–10 minutes, about three times a week. Check with your healthcare professional to be sure.
Read more about how to use Perimom, or see our guide on how to choose the best perineal massage tool.
How to do perineal massage with a partner
Many women find it hard to reach the perineum, so it can be easier to have a partner help.
- Your partner washes their hands and trims their nails.
- They use their index fingers instead of thumbs.
- With your partner sitting across from you, rest your legs over theirs while you lean back on a pillow.
- Everything else is the same as the solo technique.
Be consistent with your routine. Your daily bath or shower is a good time, as the area is softer and the blood vessels are dilated. At first the perineum feels tight, but with practice the tissue relaxes and stretches.
Frequently asked questions
How do you do perineal massage?
Insert your thumbs about an inch into the vagina, press down toward the anus and to the sides, hold the stretch, then massage in a U-shaped motion for up to 5 minutes, a few times a week.
How far should I insert my thumbs?
About 3–5 cm (an inch).
Can my partner do perineal massage for me?
Yes. They use their index fingers and follow the same technique. It's a common choice since the area is hard to reach late in pregnancy.
Does perineal massage hurt?
An unfamiliar burning or stretching feeling is normal at first and usually eases by around the third week. It shouldn't be sharply painful. Stop and check with your provider if it is.
How often and when should I do it?
About 2–3 times a week, 5–10 minutes, from around week 34–35. Ask your provider about the right timing for you.
What if I can't reach my perineum?
A partner can help, or a tool like the Perimom is shaped to reach the area so you can do it unaided.
References
- NCBI. Perineal massage in the weeks before delivery (study). ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
- Obstetrics & Gynaecology. Women's views on the practice of prenatal perineal massage. obgyn.onlinelibrary.wiley.com
- Journal of Women's Health, Issues & Care. Antenatal Perineal Massage and Women's Experience of Childbirth: a review. semanticscholar.org
